A Letter for Sophie

Dear Sophie Belle

Just over six months ago, I showed up to work and was assigned to take care of a 5 day old little girl with a button nose and the poutiest lips I have ever seen on a baby. That little girl was you and for that, I am forever thankful. You and your mommy and your daddy and your big brother are the best belated birthday gift I will ever get.

I want you to know that it was an honor to be your Super Nurse. It was always a pleasure going in to work to see your angel face. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life. It was such a joy to be the person to be holding you when you first opened your eyes for Grandma Kathy...to laugh along with (and at) your dad as he changed a record breaking 6 diapers during a single diaper change...to surprise your mama with your bottle feeding volumes...to see you heading home. Over the course of a nurse's career, she will care for hundreds, if not thousands of patients, but only a small few will hold a special place in her heart. You are one of those patients. And I thank God that I had the good sense to push professionalism aside and become friends with your family.

It is no surprise to anyone who knows you that you were special from the start. Your body and your brain were made different. Not that it mattered to the people who loved you. It was humbling to be witness to the selfless love of your family and their determination to provide you with the most fulfilling life they could. They would have moved mountains for you. I learned a valuable lesson in the endurance and complete necessity of hope. Your mom and dad were realistic about your future, but they also had a realistic hope that you were capable of more. Sweet girl, you sure did a good job of picking your mom and dad...no one, and I mean NO ONE could have been better for you.

Even as I embraced your parents' hope for your future, I knew that your time on this Earth would be short. I have never doubted that God had bigger and better plans for you. But even I could not have imagined that your stay would be so heartbreakingly short. You were supposed to have more time. More time for naps with your daddy, playtime with Channing, and snuggles with your mama. More time to teach us important life lessons. More time to be embraced in the love of your family and friends.

If love alone could have kept you alive sweet Sophie Belle, you would have lived longer than the brightest shining star. But that's not how life works. And if we cannot watch you grow, then I am thankful that soon your spirit will be free from a body that suffered. If you cannot spend your life enveloped in arms of your loving parents, then you deserve to live in Heaven. You will soon be a guardian angel, whose spirit will live on in those who were lucky enough to love you. Over the past week those people have gathered at your bedside, enveloping you and your parents in a love so strong it was nearly palpable. There have been tears and laughter at that bedside, as we prepare to let you go. And snuggles...lots of snuggles. You are one lucky little girl.

I could never thank your mama and daddy enough for letting me be a part of your life and for inviting me to come tonight to say goodbye. To hold your little body one last time. I promised you tonight that we will all be ok. Yes, we'll be sad for awhile but we will keep on living, carrying your spirit with us and letting you live through each of us. We will take care of your mommy and your daddy...they will never be the same, but they'll be ok, so don't you worry about them. We'll cry, because it is healing for the soul, we'll laugh for the same reason, and we'll be angry because this is not fair. I am so so sorry that the medical community I have so much faith in could not do more for you. And I am so grateful to know that you will be a very special angel up in Heaven, for us to one day meet again.

You are an amazing little girl Sophie Meredith Flynn and I love you.

Kendra

Holly & Mike...I am so sorry.

It's like a storm
That cuts a path
It's breaks your will
It feels like that

You think you're lost
But you're not lost on your own
You're not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
If you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it's dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we're too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I wont let you fall
Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
You're gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
Oh I'm gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Won't let you go
No I won't

Rascal Flatts-- I Won't Let Go